Checklist: Could You Be a Vampire?
1. Does your dentist run like hell when he sees you coming?
2. Do people remark on your exceptionaly smooth pale skin?
3. Do you get a sunburn in direct sunlight in 15 minutes or less without 45SPF sunscreen?
4. Do you suffer from deep-rooted depression, and look to the vampire as a symbol of strength in darkness, which has suppressed the child you once were?
5. Have you ever staged a hold-up at a blood drive?
6. Do you go to horror movies to see if you know anyone?
7. Has blood ever clotted in your throat?
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
9. Have your children/grandchildren/greatgrandchildren already passed away?
10. Are you continually annoyed by all the awful rumors that declare that you don't exist?
11. Is your favorite pickup line "What blood type are you?"
14. Do you even bother with pickup lines?
15. Do you tend to suck the peanut butter out of your Reeses peanut butter cups?
16. Have you visited Transylvania more than 20 times in the past century?
17. When people point a gun at you and say "Eat hot lead!" do you find it goes straight through you?
18. When you were young, were you always hoping that "The Count" on Sesame Street would kill those annoying kids?
19. Does Anne Rice phone you for advice when writting her novels?
20. Are you constantly having a bad hair day because you cannot see yourself in the mirror?
21. Does your mother repeatedly ask you what all the dead bodies are doing in your closet?
22. Do you hate tomatoes (because they're so red, ripe and rich, and filled with....water)?
23. Did it take you twenty years to learn how to turn a computer on?
24. Have you ever traded receipes with Jeffrey Dahmer or Hannibal Lecter?
25. Do you find this test an utter waste of time because you already KNOW you're a vampire??