| Great Ways to  Annoy People in the Computer Lab
Assign  a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F  sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire  paper this way. 
 Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different monitor  than the one it's set up with.
 
 Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say  "Just in case..." mysteriously.
 
 Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray  "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when  it finishes.
 
 If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps  Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
 
 Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting.
 
 Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
 
 Pull  out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
 
 Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting  the keys with the straw.
 
 Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out  laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your  stuff and leave, howling as you go.
 
 Start  making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know  them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
 
 When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways  are best.
  When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling  Apple face is. |